Friday was my husband's 30th birthday. We threw a big party and had 18 people (including us) come and it was a lot of fun. It wasn't a surprise because my husband doesn't like surprises and it made it easy for me because I could just ask him what kind of stuff he wanted and where it should be, etc. The most interesting part of the party was the crazy cross section of our lives in attendance. We had a college buddy of my husband's and his wife, two co-workers and their wives, our next door neighbors who are elderly, his grandparents and parents, my mom and her husband, and my sister and her boyfriend. (His spoiled brat sister who says family comes first was too busy to come, but I'm glad because I think she's annoying.) Everyone had heard and seen pictures of everyone else but it was the first time most of them met so it was cool. I was really glad when it was over because I was stressing out a bit and running around crazy most of Friday before the party. Saturday everyone left by noon and then I crashed and took a 3-4 hour nap. I was exhausted.
Now that that is over I'm thinking about this biospy I'm going to have done of my uterus. It's suppose to be scheduled for next Friday, the 24th. I'm getting a little nervous about it and wondering what it will be like. If it's like the HSG then that's not too bad. I can deal with that. I have no idea what the results will be, but I can't help but hope they find something, anything to explain why this keeps happening. Why I can't stay pregnant longer than a week anymore. After Isabella died I use to think "if I can just make it to 20 weeks, then I'll be ok", then Sean was miscarried at 9 weeks. Then I had miscarriage after miscarriage and now I wish I could just get to that ultrasound at 6-7 weeks where you see and hear the heartbeat. Hell, I wish I could do a second pregnancy test and see a darker line rather than a lighter one than the previous test.
The passage of time really sucks. We've been trying to get pregnant for almost 3 years now. I wish I could fast forward to being 25 weeks pregnant, but who knows when that will be, for all I know it could be years from now.
That's what scares the shit out of me.
6 years ago
3 comments:
Hang in there! I have really been thinking about you and praying for you! Sending Love from Dallas!
Ditto on that Shannon. I truly believe with all my heart that this will work out for you. I think of you often and am sending you loads of babydust your way...Hugs!!!
Happy Birthday to your hubby! I am glad the party went well. I will keep you in my thoughts for your biopsy next week. I hope things go well and you get some well deserved answers AND they are easily fixable!
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