A Wednesday

I find it hard to know what to do with myself. I feel like I should be doing something, but I can't get myself going. I've been thinking about making some bread, but I need to go to the store to get yeast and more flour. It seems like such a long drive, too much effort. Even writing right now, I don't know what to say. I've been watching movies, TV, just doing nothing. I don't feel like eating. I don't sleep well and when I do I have strange dreams, but I can't remember what they're about when I wake up.

The highlight of my day today was when Krista came and snuggled with me on the couch. I was lying down and she smushed me with her paws and turned every which way to smush me all over. She would lie down only to get up again and smush some more. This is a rare treat because she's not a snuggly type of cat. Occasionally it builds up in her and it's like she has to get the snuggles out. You just have to be in the right place to receive them. Today I was.

I worry about where my life is heading right now. How long I will feel this way, what I will do with myself. Where I go from here.

It's raining out.