We talked more about it last night and I feel like I'm being guilted into going. The card he always plays is that his grandparents aren't going to be around that much longer. So if we don't go and they die soon, well, lots of guilt all around. I would feel bad about it, but the grandparents aren't much better than the parents. Actually they're more dismissive and invalidating. But I attribute that to them being old. Both grandmothers had two miscarriages, but things were different back then. It wasn't until I had it out with my husband's paternal grandmother that she let on that she was upset about her miscarriages. She said that she just didn't have time to grieve because she had her daughter at home and her husband to take care of. And she expected me to buck up or not get too down about it because I would just upset my husband. Like not upsetting him was my whole purpose in life. Sorry, but I'm not a housewife, I don't have a baby at home already and even if I did I would still be upset. So while people who've never had a loss can say horrible things, sometimes the people who have had losses think you should get through it just like they did.
It ain't the 50's anymore.
6 years ago
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