It's 4am and I'm not sleeping. I woke up almost an hour ago to use the bathroom and now I can't get back to sleep. I know when I've been pregnant before I've slept pretty weird, but I think this is due to anxiety about going to my in-laws.
I don't want to share this news with them. I feel that they don't deserve it after how they've treated me. But that also isn't very in the Christmas spirit or the best way to start out a new pregnancy. I wish that I could let all my resentment go, or get some sort of amnesia and forget how awful they were to me. I really wish I wasn't going to PA so that I could avoid this whole situation.
And to think, I wanted to skip this month so that we wouldn't be trying during the stress of the holidays.
I hate that I can't be truly happy about being pregnant. Not just because of what's happened in the past and the worries and anxiety about how this pregnancy will go, but because of them.
6 years ago
3 comments:
You know, Shannon, it's early days yet. I don't think anyone would blame you for wanting to keep this wonderful news for yourself and your husband a little longer, even if they never know the real reason why. Think of it as a Christmas present to yourself.
Shannon, this is such exciting news. I really hope the best for you.
I've had the same thoughts about not sharing pregnancy news b/c people don't deserve it. I'm not pregnant, but I think we'll be keeping it to ourselves for quite awhile when we finally are.
Do whatever feels right to you.
I definitely do not think anyone would blame you. I hope your trip goes better then you think. Have a Merry Christmas.
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