Christmas

I got really upset with my husband the other night. It seems that before/during/after visiting my in-laws we fight a lot. I just don't enjoy being there anymore. I get anxious before we go, I'm miserable while we're there and I'm still recovering from it even though we've been home for 5 days now.

A seemingly small thing happened Monday night and I flipped out. My husband knows how to push my buttons and then is always surprised when I react. In my anger I told him that I wasn't going to Christmas with his family. What a relief that would be.

Things have settled down between us, but amazingly when he brought up Christmas today at lunch time, he talked about it with uncertainty. "If" we go in for Christmas. I thought that was interesting. I'm starting to think "I might get away with this". This not going to the in-laws.

In newsletters from Share or Hospice it gives you tips for the holidays. Ways to remember your baby, things you can do to honor them. It also says not to do things that make you uncomfortable and to listen to and be gentle with yourself.

I think Christmas would be so much more comfortable if I spent it at home.