Vacation

So I really thought that vacation would be all fun and sunshine and tasty food and wine and everything nice a vacation should be. It wasn't all that. I wasn't all bad, but it could have been so much better. I want to think that the reason why it wasn't all that it could have been was completely out of my control. I guess it really was, but my reaction to it wasn't and I could have sucked it up more.

I started my period on the way to NYC. Yuck. I hate having my period. I wasn't expecting to be pregnant but there was always that tiny chance. My period was late. That was the first thing. I was so stressed out from work and grief and life just pressing in on me that I actually would have been partially angry if I was pregnant. I was really looking forward to eating and drinking whatever I wanted. To not being cranky and tired when I was suppose to be having fun. But I had my period instead. It was a 36 day cycle which is several days longer than I normally have. I had packed pads and tampons "just in case". But since being on low dose aspirin my periods are deluges. I ended up buying super absorbency tampons in the gift shop on board our cruise ship. What a mess the week would have been without those. It was still a mess, just a more manageable one. But the real problem with all of this was just the bad timing. I really wanted to have already had my period, to be trying again. What better time than on vacation. Instead I was a complete mess. Having to carry supplies with me all over the island just in case I sprung a leak. Yuck. Yuck. Yuck. I'd say I hope that was the last period I'll have for a while but I know better. I know there's no point in hoping for anything. It hasn't worked before, why would it work now?