It’s the beginning of a new cycle, today is day 3. I have my Rx called in for the clomid which I’ll start taking on Wednesday. I’m glad that my period started, as horrible as that is, but I won’t need another blood test to tell me what I already know and I won’t need more drugs to bring on a period which just seemed to mess me all up last month. But then who gets upset about a 2 day period? I guess any period in DBL is bad enough. So we’ll be gung-ho this month. If it doesn’t work then it’s officially off to a fertility specialist for me. Being an “interesting case” for a regular OB/GYN isn’t such a great thing. I feel like he’s giving up on me. Am I a hopeless cause? I don’t think my husband would want to do IUI, I know he doesn’t want to do IVF. Could we even afford that? What could a specialist tell us or help us with, if we're not going to go the extra mile?
Every month that goes by that I don’t get pregnant makes me sad because it’s still 9+ months until I have a baby. That figure never changes. That’s the nice thing about the times that I was pregnant. I had an actual countdown to something. Even though I never got there, while I was counting down felt like I was getting somewhere. I want to check the days off on the calendar and have them mean something, not just another day of not being pregnant. That’s how I measure my life now. The pregnant days and the not pregnant days. Too many of them have been the latter.
6 years ago
2 comments:
You can go the RE and not have to have IVF or an IUI. I have just been doing injectibles without the IUI until the last one. That might be all you need. I don't know if that is something you want to do but it may be worth a try.
What is RE? I'm not really sure what the steps are after the clomid and progesterone suppositories, this is all assuming this next month will be a failure. I know better than to get my hopes up.
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