No new info from the hysteroscopy. No big surprise. I feel like an idiot to have even bothered.
Back in February/March when I was pregnant with Samantha I became friends with another woman in my microbiology class. We got to talking and kids came up so I told her about my troubles and how I was currently pregnant. She told me she was also pregnant and had had a couple miscarriages herself. She is now 41 weeks pregnant and will be induced on Thursday if she doesn't go into labor on her own. I'm happy for her but it makes me feel sick inside that it works out for everyone else. Am I fooling myself into thinking it will one day work out for me? I must be or I would stop trying.
My doctor basically said to me that I just need to get past the 8-9 week mark and I will probably be ok. That seems to be my stumbling block. I'm feeling so overwhelmed right now with so many things I don't even know where to start.
I wish I could see the future. Even if I could know I would have a few more miscarriages before having a healthy pregnancy and live baby I would keep marching. It's the not knowing that is killing me.
6 years ago
3 comments:
So sorry to hear there is still no answer. I know you must be desperate for an answer. I have been reading for quite some time, but do not comment. I hope you have your happy ending very soon. You have been through so much...
My doctor has also told me that if I can make it to 8 weeks, I will be farther than I've ever been before and I can become a "routine" ob patient after that. So far I have heard and seen our babies' heartbeats twice. I've had 4 miscarriages - two chemical and two with beating hearts. I have ultrasound pics of the last one that I can't really bear to look at without crying. But I still have hope! My faith is my rock and foundation. I keep holding on and trusting the Lord. We are also fostering children now which has been a HUGE blessing!!! We do it to help the kids and possibly lead to adoption. And in the meantime, it has helped me SO much!! It keeps me busy and focused on them which I really needed. Otherwise, I was beginning to dwell so much on my health and miscarriages. I've also see a RPL specialist in Memphis, which has been great. I highly highly recommend him. I'm sorry that I don't know a whole lot of your story, but I'm going to read up on your blog and learn more about you. :) I will be praying for you. I enjoy reading your blog. creekjc@nctc.com
Hi Shannon,
I am so sorry for your loss. I deeply appreciate the attention you have brought to the topic of miscarriage. After my own experiences I needed to believe that the world was different in a positive way because of the losses. I was driven to create something that would not have existed had I not miscarried. A filmmaker by trade, what resulted is a ten-minute short film The House I Keep, about a woman who struggles to come to terms with the loss of her baby through miscarriage. A relentless war between her internal and external life has plagued her recovery until she stumbles upon a curious symbol of hope that helps lead her back to peace.
After screenings of The House I Keep, I have been overwhelmed by the heartbreaking stories of miscarriage that women have felt compelled to share. These gatherings became transformative. Discussing the film has provided an 'appropriate’ place to share their own stories. Their silence was broken and isolation bridged. My mission for the film is to improve the mental health of women and their families mourning miscarriage by providing an identifiable voice through the film. The film is a platform for discussion and understanding, and hence, an impetus for healing.
With the film now complete, and ready to premiere in 2011, we are doing everything we can to raise awareness about the topic of miscarriage and our film. Please visit our website at http://www.thehouseikeep.com for more detailed information about the film. If you like what you see, please join us on facebook at http://www.facebook.com/pages/The-House-I-Keep/69409738707. Anything you can do to help us spread the word is, of course, very much appreciated!
Kindest regards,
Jhene Erwin
Producer/Co-Director/Writer – The House I Keep
Post a Comment