for IFD & SED & SED

It's been a while. I've been insanely busy. I haven't really posted anything in almost a month. I finished up my last week of classes, then had a couple finals and ended up with a 4.0 for the semester. I barely squeaked my A in chemistry, if we hadn't had that take home test I'm sure I wouldn't have gotten an A.

Immediately the following week, May 25th, my summer class started. It's been non-stop organic chemistry since. I got a 75 on the first test (we have one every week!). On the one hand it's only a 6 week session, but on the other hand IT'S ONLY A 6 WEEK SESSION!! I'm not sure if having all the time a normal semester allows would help. This is hard.

I finally had my period, almost 6 weeks exactly after my D&C. It was pretty normal as periods go but it was coupled with starting my summer class and a 95° day. I felt like crap all day (partially from driving an hour to a different school and nervousness of finding my class and partially from the crazy heat and lack of AC at the school and especially in the lab) and also felt like I might pass out or throw up. I wondered if I was pregnant again and having another chemical pregnancy/miscarriage. There's no way to tell at this point but I was also an emotional wreck most of that week which I'm not normally during my period. But there were other contributing factors. I'm freaking out about this summer class! I feel like I'm in a constant state of anxiety attack. I'm really disappointed in the 75 but I went to a study session this morning and the prof who runs it said that I'm doing great with a 75 and as long as I stay around or above 50 I'll be fine. WHAT?!?! That is just ridiculous to me! But I'll take it, I guess. I don't want to not get an A and if a 75 translates to an A in o-chem then sign me up!

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In other news, 2 years ago I had a ring made. (I got the idea from Carol.) Originally it was going to have 2 stones, one for Isabella and one for Sean. Emerald and diamond for May and April. Some of the different designs I saw didn't look that great so I went with a three stone ring, emerald in the center and 2 diamonds - one on each side. I had "for IFD & SED" engraved inside the band. And now here I am with another April baby, Samantha. Her diamond already set in the ring. It's an unhappy coincident that my ring had a place waiting just for her. I got my ring back from the jeweler today, it now says "for IFD & SED & SED". The three babies I barely got to know before they were taken away from me.


I hope that since all the stones are spoken for I will have no more need for any extra memorials.