Optimism

Ok, this is Post #100!

I had my meeting last night, I wasn’t expecting anyone to come because I’ve been scattered this past month and didn’t advertise at all. My therapist posted a couple fliers around the hospital and that was it. But one woman did show up. She had her loss about 15 years ago and wanted to find a group so she could lend support to other people going through the same thing. So that was really nice that she came. I told her that I’m planning on holding off on any more meetings until I get more interest, it will just take some time. I’m not sure how much I’ll get done in the next month because I’ll be traveling for work, but I’ll figure it out. Next week this time I’ll be flying into Seattle.

I got all kinds of awesome stuff from Carol yesterday, so I'm going to work on the sorely needed packet upgrade for the hospital in my area. I'm excited about it.

Regarding the "favorites" thing from my previous post, I wanted to elaborate a bit more. After we got back from vacation and on the cusp of renewed baby-making efforts, my husband said to me that he wasn't sure he still wanted to have a baby. He didn't say it in a way that caused me great alarm, but still. What the heck have we been doing for the past 2 years and 8 months! I asked why not and he said because I would love the baby more than him and that with "timed intercourse" he felt like all I needed him for is his sperm. And that he feels like I love our cats more than him. Unfortunately there's some truth to that because we rarely have sex just for the fun of it. And I do pay a lot of attention to the cats. I told him that he's my favorite person and I gave him a big hug and a raspberry on the neck to lighten the mood. (He said I'm his favorite person, too!) I said that I would still love him but I would also love a new baby just in a different way. As for the cats, well, I really love our cats. Especially Katie (don't tell Krista, although she has been more snuggly lately). I think it's because Sasha died and I want to make sure I get all the hugs and snuggles I can because the night before Sasha died we totally ignored her and it makes me really sad that I didn't hug her up as much as I could that last night she was alive. So that's the favorite person story with a little extra on the side. And really, who else do you marry if not your favorite person? (Hurray for Vermont and Iowa!)

I'm starting the new protocol today, I hope it will help things along as well as the HSG helps some too, so I feel like we're starting with a clean slate and I have a new optimism. It's been a long time since I've had that.