Huge Update!

So my divorce is official now, I'm just waiting to get the paper work so I can legally change my last name back.  It was a long time coming and quite frustrating it got dragged out as long as it did seeing as we've been apart since the beginning of May 2011.

I had quite the crazy year aside from the divorce stuff.  I had been seeing someone last year during the summer and we even lived together but when things fell apart I moved out.  I found an apartment and a roommate through a volunteer ambulance service I was on and that seemed like it would be a decent situation but that rapidly unraveled.  The kid (a 22 year old boy) turned out to be somewhat crazy and got a restraining order against me because I was fed up with him eating my food without asking or replacing it and I called him out on it.  He got threatening so I called the cops on him and they suggested he stay somewhere else that night.  That was a Friday.  Monday morning he got the restraining order against me just to get me back, so after working a 24 hour shift and getting home Tuesday late morning from some errands to take a nap I was escorted from the apartment by a police officer and told to go to the court house to take care of it.  Unfortunately it wasn't that simple and I luckily got the follow up court date for that Friday instead of a week from Tuesday to get it resolved.  In the meantime I had to find somewhere else to live!!  After calling around and even calling my ex-husband, my new boyfriend of only about 6 weeks was kind enough to take me in.  There were a few reasons why I didn't ask him first, living with the previous boyfriend didn't pan out well, we'd only been seeing each other 6 weeks, and he has 2 cats.  Don't get me wrong, I love cats, but I sure wasn't going to leave my cats at the apartment with the psycho while the restraining order crap got sorted out.  For that matter I wasn't going to go back to living there even if it did get sorted out!  So with police escort I went back to the apartment, gathered up some necessities and clothes and of course my cats and their stuff and hauled it all back to my boyfriend's house.  I literally had the clothes on my back when I left the apartment that morning.  Side story: I was so stressed out about the whole thing I came down with terrible tummy issues and had pretty much non-stop diarrhea from that afternoon into the night.  Unfortunately I had an accident and had to use the public bathroom in the library across from the court house to clean myself up and wash out my underwear.  So not only did I only have the clothes on my back I was now going commando!  Friday rolled around and the restraining order was vacated, but the whole ordeal was just terrible.  I ended up staying living with my boyfriend and paying rent of course and it works out pretty well because he works a lot and I do too so we don't see each other a ton so we don't get on each other's nerves.  He works overnight shifts at his job as a paramedic so 4 nights of the week he's not even home and it's funny because the nights when he is home we don't even sleep in the same bed.  He snores like a chainsaw and I apparently flail around a lot so it's just better for everyone to get a good night's sleep if we sleep separately.  One of his cats is very cuddly and she has adopted my bed as her preferred sleeping spot so every night I'm sandwiched between her and my Katie with purring in stereo!

Last winter I applied again to several PA schools and even branched out to places far away since it didn't really matter if I stuck around this area anymore.  I applied to UNE in Portland, ME and UC Davis in California (not far from Napa which would be dangerous!!).  I also applied to Albany Med again and surprisingly got an interview.  A few weeks later on March 1st I got my acceptance letter!  Albany was always my first choice so I was beyond thrilled!!!  School starts in 3 weeks!!  I'm so excited but also getting really nervous.

Things are going really well with my boyfriend, we have a lot in common and laugh a lot.  I brought him up to Maine a couple times to visit my mom and since it was his first time to Maine he had a blast.  I took him to all my favorite places and we went to the beach and got knocked around by the waves and had a ton of fun.

And now for the really big news:  On September 19th I found out I was pregnant.  It wasn't exactly planned and the timing is pretty horrible with school starting but after all I've been through not for one second did I consider anything but a wait and see attitude.  I'm now 17 weeks and 3 days along.  I'm due for a level 2 ultrasound on the 27th so I'll know how things are really going then.  I'll probably find out the sex too.  I've been pretty ambivalent about it because of all my losses, like maybe if I let myself get excited and get my hopes up then they'll get dashed again.  Also, my boyfriend isn't exactly excited about it.  I know it sounds a little crappy but he knows how rigorous PA school can be and is worried for me and getting through school. I can understand that.  He also had pretty much figured at 36 he'd never have kids so this is a huge deal.

I'm nervous about being pregnant and school and how I'll manage but I'm just taking it a day at a time.  I can't really make plans when I still don't feel 100% that it will work out.  Maybe after the level 2 ultrasound when I know more.

So after my pregnancy with Isabella, this is the longest I've been pregnant.  I'm starting to get a little bit of a belly and switched to wearing maternity pants so I'll be more comfortable.  I also got a Doppler so I can listen to the heart beat when ever I want and it's been steady around 160 bpm from what I can count.  It was around 180 when I had my first ultrasound on October 24th.

So what will be will be.  I'll try not to be such a stranger and keep things updated from here on out.